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Showing posts from November, 2013

11/26/2013

Today, I am more depressed than usual.I am easily agitated and short with my wife.I have familiar physiological symptoms and over powering emotions.Emotions of self-disgust, frustration and anger.I am angry that I feel self-pity and that old woo-is-me syndrome.I have the urge/need to cry but no tears will come; my anger is stronger than the sadness I feel.A lack of un-worthiness has crept in again as it has so many times before.Thoughts of self-destructive behavior are fleeting, although reoccurring.For the second time in the past few days, I have considered taking medication in order to sleep away the hours and days.I am resisting this action today.I have been mentally planning an escape from the impending family gathering during the Holiday Season.I surmise that by distancing myself from family and friends, I will be free from these feelings.The putting on of a happy face is so tiresome.It is much easier to be as I am; un-happy.Social and spiritual interaction with others helps to c…